And I am a faulty string of blue christmas lights.

2005-09-23T14:18:00.000-07:00

2005-09-20T11:17:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone, i iz moving out of here in a few days

2005-09-18T19:31:00.000-07:00

because all of a sudden, the desire to truimph over all of you is so great.

and i hate to feel this way, but now i know why they left the lot of you

2005-09-18T19:04:00.000-07:00

im guessing its the lack of sleep that's been causing the nightmares (which involved a hit-and-run and a friend-turned-vampire) very.. tragic.

anyway, im looking forward to friday,
they say its a beautiful place to seek solace

2005-09-15T03:48:00.000-07:00

laugh all you want,
but on wednesday TAC were this close to running away from everything (actually it meant packing our bags, taking whatever money we had and sleeping under a bridge at the esplanade) i am serious by the way

i have been such a baby, i swear
im sorry, is it okay if i dont care anymore
you know, we give up sometimes

thank you for being the most patient

2005-09-12T21:48:00.000-07:00

sorry, i hardly know you

but will you be my sidekick too?

2005-09-11T09:50:00.000-07:00

serenaide,

the international feeling for a million stars colliding

2005-09-06T23:40:00.000-07:00

claire and i are enough to take on the world.

except for block-catching
after so many months of lying low/not running/not coming up with new tactics (since when) or hiding behind pillars,

i am still, and always will be the worst block-catcher ever

2005-09-04T10:31:00.000-07:00

Dreams of day architecture

2005-09-03T11:11:00.000-07:00

today i made friends with a lady, slyvea
and she spoke to me about life, laughter and her love for God.

ive never met anyone more amazing than her and she taught me more things than anyone ever could in that time alone

slyvea wong

-writes beautiful poems
-hardly keeps still
-tells funny jokes
-knows all the books in the bible
-sings like an angel :)

adopt-a-granny?

why, gladly

2005-09-02T22:37:00.000-07:00

today, stephanie beryl and i will visit her grandad's home to make friends with his friends.

2005-09-02T10:37:00.000-07:00

maybe if i could just keep still a little longer, then everything would go numb and itld be easier this way

2005-09-02T09:31:00.000-07:00

i dont know how to lie, neither do i know how to say the correct things when im supposed to.

and im not sure if i can go on trying

this are the times in life when i feel worse than any of you

2005-09-02T09:24:00.000-07:00

you my ccchinese superhero

anyone cuter than you?

i say noooooo.

2005-08-30T11:25:00.000-07:00

The Animal Club, you want in?

2005-08-29T00:26:00.000-07:00

nat's finally back in school

and i found my wwwater gun

wow!

Hey wait I've got a new complaint,
Forever in debt to your priceless advice

2005-08-28T11:31:00.000-07:00

and no reason why i should try to go on anymore
my reason's all gone, no reason why you should
try to make excuses to make me feel alright.

because no one else can feel or understand,
but well that's alright because i can handle all that you throw down

goodnight, now

2005-08-27T03:21:00.000-07:00

those of you who often come back to be disappointed by song lyrics or one-liner entries, i apologise.

let me start by saying that there is currently nothing exciting going on, which is a pity. because you would think that while im busy trying to get into the momentum of studying something interesting worth talking about would actually happen which would result in me rushing online to tell everyone about it, but unfortunately no such thing has happened yet -inserts cries of protest here

however on the other hand, if you'ld like to know how my studying has been coming along, lets just say i could do alot better instead of sitting around and wondering why tunku abdul rahman is such a %&~#*! (purely for the benefit of internet savvy ten year olds and under)

anyway, campaiging seems to be going quite well except for a particular class that has been doing nothing except gaining our dislike. you would think that with huge white walls surrounding every corner of the school, thirteen year olds would be smart enough to place/paste their little posters of their own candidate someplace else further from others, but well i guess not.

oh by the way, here's some good news for people who love bad news
pppprom will be at westin instead of glorious rasa sentosa with the nice beach front view and a setting sun

2005-08-27T03:12:00.000-07:00

count these days going backwards. how can they take so long, but go by so fast? there's something about these nights in the winter that makes me want to steal you away and run up a tab at every hot spot from here to the end of the line, but we'll probably end up sitting alone nursing five cups of coffee and a wounded page.

i'm falling asleep, but i'm catching your eyes now, so sleep can wait

2005-08-23T07:36:00.000-07:00

today claire and i stood by the road, deciding whether or not to flag down the next cab we saw because we were so contented standing there just watching the world pass us by.

like how time stops in that single moment for us,
sometimes i feel we could go on doing this forever.

Enjoi.

2005-08-22T08:32:00.000-07:00

im feeling everything that im not supposed to be feeling right now,
they say you cant always have too much of a good thing?

anyway
pppuffs, we reunite once again!

2005-08-20T06:20:00.000-07:00

just when i thought i could/would be able make a difference, jill tells it straight to my face that i wont.

talk about honesty hahah

2005-08-20T04:56:00.000-07:00

im caught in the symmetry of your mind,
but im not happier than you

all i do is run tonight
even twice as sweet but half as bright

2005-08-19T11:20:00.000-07:00

dinner with mom today wasnt like anything we've ever done before, at least not in a very long time. hahah if only our feet didnt hurt that much from all that standing around

And if this letter finds you lost and out of touch - lonely,
I hope you know by now you mean so very much to me.

2005-08-18T07:17:00.000-07:00

Conscious we all ignore
Jeweler's eye view
Enlarge your hearts now

2005-08-17T05:10:00.000-07:00

hahah see, there's really nothing
a good hard swing and paddle pop cannot fix.

anyway, ive come up with a new rule at the table buuuut obviously no one is keeping to it. you'ld think my friends would be a little more supportive but noooo, not at all. happily only, devouring meat everyday like machiam dont eat will die like that
where's your conscience, guys!

on a lighter note, campaigning starts this week.
and if you're smart enough, you'ld jolly well know who to vote for

rrrrachel, rrrrachel.

2005-08-16T02:27:00.000-07:00

ok, enough now.
whats the point, you ask.

2005-08-16T01:09:00.000-07:00

and even though i rushed home as fast as i could today, popo left for church already

but she made one of our favourite soups, just what i needed actually. hahah its like she can tell

and i bet you didnt know,
but robots break down sometimes.

2005-08-15T09:52:00.000-07:00

Now that im coming down
Wont you be my solid ground

2005-08-13T10:13:00.000-07:00

i want to watch downfall quite badly but i cant because i keep forgetting to return elephant to videoezy

i think they must really want to kill me because now that we have entered the month of august, i officially owe them three months worth of overdue fee

on a lighter note, panic! at the disco has hit me so bad, its like a fever i cant sweat out

2005-08-11T03:00:00.000-07:00

hello, i came across this website recently that might interest you. it, however opened my eyes to realise that maybe my brother might be right after all.

See the truth

2005-08-08T10:10:00.000-07:00

today was quite a (horrible) day,

but anyhow i hope peanut butter m&ns, cake, ffaf and paddle pop were enough to make the birthday boy happy!

and thanks to the discman, it was one of the best journeys going home despite the disability to type with numb fingers

Everything must go!

2005-08-07T08:58:00.000-07:00

Garage sale, Saturday.

I need to pay my heart's outstanding bills

2005-08-04T22:25:00.000-07:00

Mercir mercir mercir <3

and here's goodbye to futile late night attempts to study.

and oh my, a new template! well it was about time anyway

2005-08-02T21:53:00.000-07:00

Infomatik.

Inside a moment

2005-07-31T23:15:00.000-07:00

last night before i went to sleep, i looked across my table and saw a birthday card my popo wrote me

oh no i miss her so bad now i think ill spring a surprise visit on her later

2005-07-29T23:49:00.000-07:00

Your bright eyes burn through my exploding heart

and you have every bit of my love, nat.

please come home soon

2005-07-28T23:26:00.000-07:00

and if it makes you less sad,
i will die by your hand.
i hope you find out what you want
i already know what I am.

i'll grow old and start acting my age,
be a brand new day in a life that you hate.

standing trial for your sins
holding onto yourself the best you can.

Coquelicot Asleep in the Poppies

2005-07-28T09:07:00.000-07:00

All of our days move so slow since we stopped
and let the world go on without us.

and few will dare to offer any pleasantries or see how we fare,
oh my lovely rose robert.

thank you stranger, for your therapeutic smile

2005-07-28T00:24:00.000-07:00

nat makes killer cupcakes! yum yum yum

okay study study stop eating study

2005-07-25T09:45:00.000-07:00

i realised i get quite annoyed when i cant spell properly. take today's social studies paper for example.
i think it was either the nerves ( why should i kid myself any longer) or really, its just me and my horrible spelling.

its industrialisation, not indulstrilasition (strike off) or indulstrailisation (strike off x2) or industrailisatoin ( strike off x3)

and it didnt help that i was writing at the speed of light.

2005-07-24T07:42:00.000-07:00

trish and i attempted to study social studies in the church canteen after lunch today but to no avail.

dynomite!

2005-07-23T12:51:00.000-07:00

happy birthday, drug drug druggy.

this time last week was one of the happiest days of my life, oh how time flies.

Harry potter

2005-07-19T09:04:00.000-07:00

and the half-blood prince made me cry like a big fat baby.

Morning new disease

2005-07-14T08:53:00.000-07:00

Solea solea solea

Where you belong;

Kite high in Tuesday ether

2005-07-13T03:43:00.000-07:00

ive.. ive.. got duct tape all over my heart now,

as she greased her frock with a smile that moves the sky.

stop/start

2005-07-10T08:30:00.000-07:00

ima robot ima robot ima robot

dear claire, you are loved the way that you are. always remember that

traded in their hearts and hands for disposable cameras

2005-07-09T05:38:00.000-07:00

I must, we must never stop watching the sky with our hands in our pockets, stop peering in windows when we know doors are shut.
but before i spill the things i meant to hide away, or gouge my eyes with platitudes of sentiment,
I'll drown the urge for permanance and certainty; crouch down and scrawl my name with yours in wet cement.

maybe when i stop listening to the weakerthans, ill remember to start studying.

2005-07-07T11:00:00.000-07:00

The rhetoric reason and treason of saying that i'll miss you.
Of saying 'hey, well maybe you should stay.'

I am your pamphleteer.

yes,
no?
okay, will do.

Cup your mouth to compress the sound

2005-07-06T04:28:00.000-07:00

four endurance two thousand and five,

thanks you guys, for everything.

2005-07-03T08:28:00.000-07:00

you might lose hope, and you might lose faith

but dont throw it all away.

we should never have lived like we were skyscrapers

2005-07-01T09:55:00.000-07:00

for once, it'ld be nice if you get to feel what its like to be at the losing end.

chin up, chin up and smile like you mean it

2005-06-25T11:41:00.000-07:00

school is starting on monday and with all this homework left imcomplete, im telling you procrastination haunts you like a nightmare waiting to kill you in your sleep.

on a lighter note, ill be meeting buddy on monday after school for a long awaited trip to the airport, see.. someone's smiling for once right, room mate? :)

2005-06-21T02:51:00.000-07:00

if not for claire, i honestly wouldnt be here right now. ill learn to cross the road more carefully now, i promise.

to the best vampirevampirevampire chat! player around, happy birthday to you little boy!

2005-06-18T12:40:00.000-07:00

have you ever gotten the feeling of regretting something you said or wishing you had said something more intelligent?

this
is
ridiculous,

stop already, stop.

2005-06-17T03:48:00.000-07:00

i still have so much to do, oh but so little time.

-visit sushi sushi paradise
-visit purple light area
-watch qi an drive dangerously
-hijack a supermarket

to name a few.

2005-06-15T04:30:00.000-07:00

and it hurts because its not very easy to say,

but im sorry.

2005-06-15T02:06:00.000-07:00

confucius says ' you go to jail, bad boy!'

JsteamFsteamEsteam <3

2005-06-12T23:25:00.000-07:00

yeah you said so go. said it with such disdain you know

come back and make a goodbye at least. lets pretend we had one

2005-06-08T11:42:00.000-07:00

theres really nothing two peas cant handle, thanks for always having my back jill.

okok with that, lets put everything aside for now, how about a trip to the night safari <3

mascara hero with a heart of zinc

2005-06-07T03:08:00.000-07:00

i dont think ive ever felt this way before, but it was a good feeling no doubt. to make things better, i kept my phone and left spiegel im spiegel on repeat.

by the way, jessica stern is an inspiration. if only we could all be half as determined or write half as well as her.

2005-06-03T09:50:00.000-07:00

this couple of days have been spent in bed, reading and resting as much as i can but i can safely say im a whole lot better now, finally. crystal jade/tang yuan anyone?

We are surrounded by this crash and burn stage called mourning.

2005-05-31T13:00:00.000-07:00

sometimes its hard not to notice.

okay goodnight, goodnight.

2005-05-29T08:59:00.000-07:00

tonight im wearing my best smile to make me worth your while
ill be the best mistake you'll ever make

oh no, jamisonparker is so sweet i cannot study.

jill, me and mayouchi.

2005-05-27T05:21:00.000-07:00

whatever happened along the way, how come everything seems like we've moved it aside

2005-05-26T07:15:00.000-07:00

panic! at the disco

and school's out for now, but but but monday is only ffffour days away...

i fell asleep on the sofa this afternoon while reading, and when i woke up i thought i slept through an entire day i think im enormously dumb haha

2005-05-23T06:49:00.000-07:00

happy birthday ms punk mao, sorry we didnt take you to hogwarts in the end. next year, we'll make it happen! pppprrrromise

and claire chua is really the only person who is willing to piggy-back me/ hold my hand and sing at the top of our voices (and we're not even talking about the correct lyrics here) whilst also running away from the police at the same time, in the middle of the night.

i think we felt we needed to reward ourselves for making each other so happy, so we bought a pint of ben and jerry's and finished it up at the bus stop. wa we are good ah

2005-05-21T04:43:00.000-07:00

last night was nat's brithday bash at the club and despite the smoke, horrible lighting arrangement, nelly's cousins (and somewhere in the middle ten little indian boys..) , smoke again, specially hired club dancers, dj thomas ( jill's new found best friend thank you very much) and still more smoke, i must say we all learned to have our own fun in the craziest situations. here's to our first ever experience, guys. no more robot dance for me thats for sure

2005-05-18T04:13:00.000-07:00

All of the ways that I have tried to understand,
Have taken me further from the place that I have been.
And maybe the reason I have strayed so far from home,
Is I have insisted on travelling alone.

the hall is too cold, i wish they'ld turn down the aircon abit.

goodbye, lay the blame on luck

2005-05-15T02:23:00.000-07:00

please dont ask me how im feeling right now, even i cant answer that myself.

life is an awfully long distraction from the inevitable, you know?

2005-05-11T05:29:00.000-07:00

too bad i didnt capture the fun we had this past two days, but thank you claire, jeannine and val.

last night was happiness all around, by the pool, at the park, on the swings with gymnast jean! and 275 degrees val :)

this evening, i sat by the road with claire and we made promises that we hope we never break.

i love the three of you, i hope you know. thank you so much for everything

action action!

2005-05-06T01:50:00.000-07:00

i cant quite comprehend what im feeling right now actually. this week went by really quick because ive been having alot of fun in school with my classmates and free periods.

happy birthday trish, you've been waywardly fantastic.

nails for breakfast and tacks for snacks

2005-05-03T02:04:00.000-07:00

today during bio practical, i forgot and left my name as therese moennig. oh no

oh and i really really love smallville, and chloe and lex luthor.

theres something about this girl,
i cant quite figure out.
everything she does is beautiful,
and everything she does is right.

to shane, the loml.

chihlin in shihlin

2005-04-30T09:17:00.000-07:00

yesterday was one of those days when you could tell your bad day was getting better. last night i spend my time with jess, in the middle of a fountain making shapes out of clouds and listening to everclear. i dont think ive ever been this happy all week.

im sorry if i cannot seem to work anything out or to make things better. trust me when i say im trying.

second place victory

2005-04-28T08:59:00.000-07:00

oh no, i thought i swore never to do this again.

lets show them how to live, accept the pain always forgive.
watch the sun go down, learn the sound of following all that is complete

i must stop staring at shane from TLW, i must i must.

jupiter sunrise

2005-04-27T02:27:00.000-07:00

Oh, if we had the power to trap anything that could hurt
A human being inside a jar we'ld send it far from earth and watch it explode
in the sun to the cheers of everyone

measure me in metered lines

2005-04-26T12:26:00.000-07:00

chinese chinese chinese chinese chomp chomp chinese chinese

paperthin hymn

2005-04-24T02:05:00.000-07:00

parousia's launch at the third place last night, didnt stay long enough to watch them play though.

jess's party was alot of food, torturing twister games and cake smashing. broken telephone by the pool and breathing in balloon helium.

coral ville at night for abit of block catching with the BC experts! ended up hiding in a lorry with paul and no one found us. we're experts now too

goodbye nat! ill see you again in december

handshakes at sunrise

2005-04-20T12:10:00.000-07:00

watch to end all wars. you'll want to become a better person. you'll learn that forgiveness is hard but rewarding in its own way and the will to survive is at its strongest when all hope is lost. gives you a whole new meaning towards life.. im amazed.

polaroid of polar bears

2005-04-19T23:20:00.000-07:00

yesterday i met up with an old friend, and she brought me to a cafe hidden somewhere in the outskirts of mohammad sultan something. we sat there for hours talking about our lifes and being extreme idiots in the past, and how she still likes older women now and that love is a funny but simple progress, nothing too complicated as much as i begged to differ. she's still as wise as ever (and at the same time being a complete dork, so she says) and i had a really good time talking to her and picking up from where we left off. orange tea and apple crumble topped it all off and made yesterday almost too perfect.

oh, and ive got the nicest HB pencils in the world. you should see me, im cool now :)

Take someone else down, your heart-shaped hallway too

2005-04-19T21:51:00.000-07:00

its been a crazy week. met nat on friday night with the usual at jalan kayu for the usual and then after that we cabbed back to my place for a few rounds of block catching. i ended up sleeping on a plastic red chair later on for as long as i could before i had to get home and go down to the stadium asdjkfgjk
saturday was markow's farewell party and sunday was church with jill in the evening followed by the fastest mahyouchi dinner ive ever had in my entire life.

goodbye lenin!

2005-04-13T03:14:00.000-07:00

i like rainy days. i like rainy days even more when im on a bus. i like rainy days most when im on a bus and im a long way from home.

im sorry i dont have alot to write. today i stayed home because i thought i needed to readjust things a little bit. but i ended up staying in bed and reading.